Coffee With Hitler
“So you meant all that?” (I was asking about Mein Kampf)
“Any of it.”
Hitler sipped his whiskey sour and looked at me like I was an idiot. I got the feeling he looked at everyone that way. But this was a special occasion. The first interview with Hitler ever. I couldn’t screw this up.
“So, the whole Jewish thing. You have no remorse? No sorrow for what you did?”
“Look, I did some things that weren’t, maybe, acceptable, but I never did anything I couldn’t blame on someone else. All those Jewish deaths, I blame on Heinreich Himmler, It was all his idea, anyway.”
“But you went along with it?”
“Dude, it was such a hard time, you don’t understand.” Hitler sipped his whiskey and looked at me. “I’m not a bad guy… I’m just misunderstood…”
“Yeah, you’re a peach, Adolph, I get it. What about Kristallnacht ? That wasn’t your idea?”
Hitler started crying, like he’d been caught in a lie.
“Yeah, it was mine. But there was someone else- “
“Wait, you can’t judge me on misguided attempts to rule the world…”
“That’s true, we can only judge you on the one that failed…”